Apparently, it's not all about me....

I considered composing my blog solely of quotes from other VISTA’s submissions in the past few weeks. I hit the proverbial wall a month ago when I realized that I was simply cheap labor to get the job done. Not to provide “sustainability” or “capacity building” but to mindlessly punch keys and answer phones - setting the needle on the record for the thousandth time. Sometimes I have to hold hands, yell to be heard. I’m used and taken advantage of – none of which is on my VAD.

With a background in education, I’m an advocate of ‘process over product’. I often can’t find the point in completing a task if I’m not able to see the reason behind getting it done. I need the lesson learned, the knowledge gained, the relationships built, I need the process. My VISTA term has successfully broken me of this. It’s not about MY process, in fact, the only way it’s about me at all is balancing my idealism and the reality of the situation.

There’s a lack of instant gratification in indirect service that is incompatible with my personality, but it’s not about my voice being heard. I’m not a servant of my sponsoring organization or “The Corporation”, I’m a servant of my students.

The students that have volunteered 1168 hours with us since September, the students that raised and spent close to $3000 to provide school supplies, first-day outfits, full Thanksgiving meals, and Christmas dinners and gifts to 10 families in the county, and the students that are constant advocates and supporters of the program.

It’s these highly-motivated students, but it’s also the student that calls me in May because they need those 10 hours of community service, not because of their altruistic nature or acceptance of their role as a responsible citizen, but because they want to graduate, but those 10 hours is work getting done. It’s a non-profit, who relies on volunteers, now having the ability to remain open for one more day.

This isn’t to be read as a ‘do it for the kids’ inspiration, but instead as the reason that I’ve nullified my VAD, ignored the handbook full of my rights and responsibilities as a VISTA, and signed up for a second term.